How wonderful for us to be witnessing another golden Summer of British sport which shows how much of a sporting superpower the UK has become and demonstrates the talent and tenacity of our citizens in spite the dreadful example set by much of the establishment. So as Britain becomes ever more impressive as a sporting nation with athletes, golfers, cricketers, cyclists et al all pushing each other to further levels of glory we can always rely of course on one perennial line of failure and national shame – our footballers!

As all our other sportsmen and women inspire each other upwards our various football teams work ever more successfully towards that common denominator of failure. Apart from our (and this case I mean England and Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland) dreadful record of failure in major competitions going back to 1966, the GB team at the Olympics of both sexes were neutered by the occasion, our under 21 failed to win a single game in this year’s European CHUMPianships and our Women were equally dreadful as they cast away their relatively decent record of recent times in favour of the lower reaches of mediocrity enjoyed by their male counterparts. So in a way football and its eponymous authority the FA (which stands for “xxxx all “ of course) represents all that is wrong with our society at a time when right and wrong really matters.

They are greedy, overpaid, loutish and in many cases thick as the thickest pig faeces that money can buy (and that’s just the officials who run the game)! YET they (the players and most certainly not the officials) are indulged, paid ridiculous sums of money, fawned upon and lauded beyond any level that they deserve. Unfortunately market forces decide this stuff and football is big business and (to our nation’s credit) the product (namely the premier league) is so fantastic it actually creates the problem at national level because many of our under educated little oiks who join the professional ranks of football don’t have the brains or ability to play in it. So there we have it, I suppose that if society ultimately gets the politicians it deserves (bit mean on our present society) then we probably also get the footballers we deserve too.

So come on FA follow the examples of other sports and use your millions wisely to get football up there with our other sporting successes!