I’ve very much enjoyed watching Masterchef recently and quite often one or other of the celebrated chefs that come on state that some ingredients (razor clams apparently being one) are best served without embellishment. As we approach the local elections in which UKIP (apparently) is set to “calve” (let’s keep up with the cooking theme here) great swathes through the electorate, I thought that this week we should let the European Union and its oh so sensible legislature do the talking without embellishment. Here are 5 of my favourites (I have tried to keep the food theme going as you will see) so here goes:
Incorrect weighing of bananas landed Italy’s fresh produce businesses with a €6.74 million bill in October 2011. How many people could you feed for that?
In a win for weirdly shaped vegetables across Europe, the majority of EU states voted to repeal laws which banned “free of abnormal curvature” in cucumbers and bananas three years ago in 2008 because the EU grew concerned that growers were throwing out perfectly tasty bananas because they were curved a bit too much. In 1995, the EU issued guidelines for the growing of bananas and cucumbers. Bananas with an extreme or unsightly curvature were to be discarded by growers. So too were cucumbers that were seemingly not straight enough to be sold . . . . . nuff said;
In 2011 the EU faced ridicule when it ruled that there was no evidence to suggest that drinking water prevented dehydration. The EU now prohibits manufacturers of bottled drinking water to label their products with anything that would suggest consumption would fight dehydration. I think they call this dry humour.
It’s OK to be so hungry that you could eat a horse – just make sure you don’t own it. EU laws mean that it is illegal to eat your pet horse (2009). Just don’t tell Tescos.
The EU decided to make clear the differences between a turnip and a swede (the vegetable, not a native of Sweden.) The two veggies were different, the EU said. However, if swede is contained within a Cornish Pasty (the UK’s answer to the empanada) then it is perfectly OK to brand it as turnip. In all other cases, turnips are turnips and swedes are swedes. There’s a quirky reason behind it. In Cornwall, England locals refer to swedes as turnips. That language anomaly means that the traditional Cornish Pasty is unharmed. The directive came in 2010. Hurrah, one up for localisation.
Butchers who had safely provided good quality meat for generations were banned from using wooden chopping boards. A bit rich when the food processing industry can’t get its own labelling right don’t you think?
Seriously though, as a businessman I do believe a single European trading block is a good thing and should enable Europe to compete effectively with the rest of the world but how sad that this has been so wretchedly eroded by so many stupid petty and ridiculous rules when the “Eurocracy” should be looking at ways of making the EU more competitive (it can scrap the working time directive for a start). When will politicians and their overpaid lackeys realise that regulation is NOT civilisation . . . . . and we wonder why Europe’s economies are broken, come on Eurocrats get sensible once and for all!
Vaarvel
(goodbye when you are in Brussels)
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